What Can I Learn From a 4 Year Old?

There are many things I have found I can learn from a four year old.

Everything is a big deal, either big happy or big sad.

The mind is much clearer and able to remember everything and I mean everything.

Especially boys can tell you everything you need to know about spiders, snakes or lizards.

I would have to say the thing I have most recently learned from a 4 year old brought me to a point of conviction. I have to start by telling you what brought me to this point and then I will explain my conviction.

In our house Jadon and Haven can earn marbles for going the whole day without grumbling or questioning, Do all thinks without grumbling or questioning that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, Philippians 2:14-16a. It has been a way for us to actively teach Jadon and Haven about this verse. And we go through times where they earn marbles everyday and times where getting a marble just isn't going to happen. We then have a list of things they can turn their marble(s) into. For instance going to Jump Mania takes 3 marbles, getting extra time on the Wii is one marble. The big one is saving up enough marbles to get spending money.

Jadon has been working for about a month on saving enough marbles to get spending money, there is this train he's been wanting "very bad". He also knew that the cost of the train was about $2 more than he is allowed to spend. So, he's also been collecting money to help buy his train. He did some work for Pappy and earned 50 cents, he's been picking up every penny he finds on the ground. It has been very rewarding watching him learn the value of money and work ethics.

Well, he did it, he finally earned enough marbles to go get his train. He was excited, I was a little less excited than he. Because of the timing couldn't be worse, we needed to buy presents for several family members between birthdays and Mother's Day. I had to try to explain not having enough money for him, but we were going to buy all these other presents for other people.

As an adult I enjoy buying gifts and giving them to other people. I get satisfaction out of giving gifts to people. Jadon on the other hand, gets satisfaction out of receiving gifts. I talked to him about our dilemma. That I was so very proud of him for earning his marbles and being disciplined in saving them all this time, BUT (that nasty, awful word) maybe we could work on patience and we could go shopping for him later. I even suggested we make a calendar so he could see how many days he had before we could go shopping for his train.

I'm sure your thinking right about now that he probably did not go for it. Well, your right. He didn't throw a fit, he just quietly went to his room and cried. I have to admit that it would have been so much easier if he had just thrown that fit. Instead I felt like a heel and I wanted to say, "Honey, I'm sorry that mommy and daddy don't have the money to buy you everything you want when you want it. But this could be one of those circumstances that will help develop your character into a selfless person who will love and put others first."

We let him have his upset time and then I went in and asked him if he would like to go shopping for the other people who will get presents instead of you. Actually, I didn't quite say it like that, but I'm sure that is how it sounded to him.

Todd and I felt bad, not because Jadon crying made us so sad (although I do hate seeing my children cry) but because we knew how hard he had been working. Not only to save his marbles, but to save money as well and his attitude lately had been wonderful. We discussed the possibility of being able to go ahead and let Jadon pick out his train.

Jadon decided he wanted to go to the store with me and help pick out the presents for his cousins, Papa, Nana and Mema. Our first stop was Big Lots where he had seen the train he wanted. Once he realized where we were pulling into he asked if he could go look at the trains. I agreed that after we had done what we needed to do we would go and he could look at the trains. It was such a pleasure to stand there with him as he talked about the trains and picked the one he really liked. He never asked me if he could buy it or complained about not being able to buy one.

After awhile I told him we had to go and he needed to put the trains back. As he started to put back I told him he could get the train he wanted. He looked up at me as if he was pretty sure he didn't hear me right. Mom was going to let him have a train? I told him again to get the train he was wanting and bless his heart he said back to me, "Mom, I can get one? I was just going to look at them."

He was content with just going and looking at them. This made my heart melt and I was excited to be able to get his train.

I am so proud of him, he could of easily thrown a huge fit that carried over into the store. He could have kept asking and asking over and over if he could have a train. Instead he got upset, got over it and accepted his fate.

I learned a valuable lesson from him that day. I recently have been feeling a hurt that I keep going to God and saying "why, why me?" This isn't fair. I don't want to feel hurt and I want what I want and I want it now.

I didn't realize I had been acting this way with God until I watched Jadon and how he acted and the Lord ever so quietly showed me that I was acting the way I expected Jadon to react. Cry and throw a fit and ask constantly when he was going to get his train.

It humbles me when I learn a lesson through my children.